First up, sorry for the really bad pun. It's somewhat indicative of my desperate state of mind as this week, as I wrestle with my latest mission - to resist the temptation to resign. It could be quite a good idea for you to adopt this mission too, to avoid you joining dole queues and getting far too familiar with daytime telly.
Here are a few reasons why you should resist the urge to resign:
- At your latest dinner party, someone tells you that you're an excellent cook and should open a cafe. Although this may sound like a valid reason, remind yourself that although your duck and couscous was undoubtedly extremely tasty, you can't guarantee that every patron at your cafe will be just as drunk and rambling.
- You have a mortgage/rent that needs to be paid regularly. And you are not talented at busking.
- Your husband likes to spend money on bike parts, and you like to spend money on shoes. And the money has to come from somewhere. Especially for the shoes. (I know it's a cliche, but that's the way it is.)
- The grass is not always greener on the other side. in fact, sometimes it's astroturf.
- The current job is building character. (I just don't know what kind.)
Hmm. I'm not doing a very good job of convincing myself. I'm going to watch some telly.
Tuesday, 20 November 2007
Monday, 5 November 2007
Mission 019 - A spot of mending
Buttons. They were bound to come up sooner or later.
Last Monday or Tuesday I had a button come off a jacket. It's still off, and I have been wearing the jacket sans button, regardless. What a lazy slob.
Now, I think there's a fairly good chance that, like me, you've got something tucked away in a drawer that needs a spot of mending to make it wearable again. Maybe you're even wearing it. My jacket is just a hint of a vast mending pile that includes:
Pair of dress shorts with split seam
Dress with ironing mark (awaiting customisation and transformation into new dress)
Trousers that need hemming
Top with unravelled shoulder seam
Half-made cushion (just needs one side of the zip doing)
Trousers with missing button.
No wonder I have nothing to wear.
So my latest mission for me, and you, is this: Make a start on the mending. Even if you just sew on a button. It'll take you all of five minutes (and most of that will be spent finding the needles and thread) and you'll wonder why on earth you've been putting it off.
Last Monday or Tuesday I had a button come off a jacket. It's still off, and I have been wearing the jacket sans button, regardless. What a lazy slob.
Now, I think there's a fairly good chance that, like me, you've got something tucked away in a drawer that needs a spot of mending to make it wearable again. Maybe you're even wearing it. My jacket is just a hint of a vast mending pile that includes:
Pair of dress shorts with split seam
Dress with ironing mark (awaiting customisation and transformation into new dress)
Trousers that need hemming
Top with unravelled shoulder seam
Half-made cushion (just needs one side of the zip doing)
Trousers with missing button.
No wonder I have nothing to wear.
So my latest mission for me, and you, is this: Make a start on the mending. Even if you just sew on a button. It'll take you all of five minutes (and most of that will be spent finding the needles and thread) and you'll wonder why on earth you've been putting it off.
Friday, 2 November 2007
Pet update
As of this evening, the pet mission is back on. Our first set of critters are going home to their owner, as she's now out of hospital. Someone from the cat charity is coming to pick them up tonight.
The funny thing is, that only this morning I had the fleeting thought that i would quite like to see the back of them. If only for the reason that last night one of them missed the litter tray and deposited a large poo and a puddle on the floor of the bathroom instead. Then they shredded the newspaper surrounding the tray to create a poo, piss and paper installation of impressive proportions. It was a really great way to start my morning.
So from tonight, we are once again sans pets. There might be more arriving Sunday. Hopefully they will be better acquainted with their litter box. I'll let you know.
The funny thing is, that only this morning I had the fleeting thought that i would quite like to see the back of them. If only for the reason that last night one of them missed the litter tray and deposited a large poo and a puddle on the floor of the bathroom instead. Then they shredded the newspaper surrounding the tray to create a poo, piss and paper installation of impressive proportions. It was a really great way to start my morning.
So from tonight, we are once again sans pets. There might be more arriving Sunday. Hopefully they will be better acquainted with their litter box. I'll let you know.
Thursday, 1 November 2007
Mission 018 - The only way is up.
As soon as I wrote this title, I was reminded of that grating track by Yazz that sat atop the NZ singles chart for several weeks in 1988. Not a great start. But please hang about a couple more minutes. This post gets better.
My blog is rated by Technorati at 4,446,976= in popularity. (This is out of 110.4 million blogs, so is either quite good, or quite bad, depending on how you look at it.) But this is not good enough for me. So my new mission is to bump my rank up. I don't expect to reach the 100 top blogs, or even the top 100,000. The top 1,000,0000 will do, for now.
Then of course, there's the Google ranking. And although you can find me if you type in Susanonamission with no spaces, you won't find me on Google any other way. (Google Susan Wills and you'll get an American pro-life activist, a ceramic artist, a lawyer and a winery owner.) There are, unfortunately, many people with my name out there. All American, I think. So I've been doing lots of research about how I can improve the ranking of my blog. Problogger is an especially good source, although ironically, in a recent post, he says 'Forget about page rank and concentrate on good content'.
So first, please help me by going to Technorati, here , where you can create an account. Then search for my page Susanonamssion and choose it as one of your favourites. Thank you. Another thing you can do is link to my page if you have a blog and would like to recommend my blog to others. Either of these things would be great.
And here's what I've decided to do about the blog content.
Given that my blog is quite self-absorbed, I've decided to open my missions up to everyone. Now you can share in my achievements, surpass me, or fall behind as you choose. Of course, some missions will be more achievable for you then others. Mission 015, Chips, for example, will be quite easy for you, as you don't work near the cafe downstairs (unless you are one of my colleagues reading this). Feel free to take on this mission as your own. Just in case you need a reminder, here it is again: ' Increase the ranking of Susan's blog'.
Again on the content note, for more waffly posts that don't fit here so well, I have also started a new blog, Four Zebras in the Road. This one is more for me to waffle at will about all sorts of things that don't fit into my/our missions and is still being refined a bit, although I have high hopes for it. The main pic is one I took in Namibia in September. I think it's rather attractive. Do you?
My blog is rated by Technorati at 4,446,976= in popularity. (This is out of 110.4 million blogs, so is either quite good, or quite bad, depending on how you look at it.) But this is not good enough for me. So my new mission is to bump my rank up. I don't expect to reach the 100 top blogs, or even the top 100,000. The top 1,000,0000 will do, for now.
Then of course, there's the Google ranking. And although you can find me if you type in Susanonamission with no spaces, you won't find me on Google any other way. (Google Susan Wills and you'll get an American pro-life activist, a ceramic artist, a lawyer and a winery owner.) There are, unfortunately, many people with my name out there. All American, I think. So I've been doing lots of research about how I can improve the ranking of my blog. Problogger is an especially good source, although ironically, in a recent post, he says 'Forget about page rank and concentrate on good content'.
So first, please help me by going to Technorati, here , where you can create an account. Then search for my page Susanonamssion and choose it as one of your favourites. Thank you. Another thing you can do is link to my page if you have a blog and would like to recommend my blog to others. Either of these things would be great.
And here's what I've decided to do about the blog content.
Given that my blog is quite self-absorbed, I've decided to open my missions up to everyone. Now you can share in my achievements, surpass me, or fall behind as you choose. Of course, some missions will be more achievable for you then others. Mission 015, Chips, for example, will be quite easy for you, as you don't work near the cafe downstairs (unless you are one of my colleagues reading this). Feel free to take on this mission as your own. Just in case you need a reminder, here it is again: ' Increase the ranking of Susan's blog'.
Again on the content note, for more waffly posts that don't fit here so well, I have also started a new blog, Four Zebras in the Road. This one is more for me to waffle at will about all sorts of things that don't fit into my/our missions and is still being refined a bit, although I have high hopes for it. The main pic is one I took in Namibia in September. I think it's rather attractive. Do you?
Mission 017 - 50,000 words
I've spent much of the day researching blogs. Partly for work (might be doing a work blog), partly to see what else is out there. One link led to another and eventually I ended up at NaNoWriMo, the site for National Novel Writing Month. I actually joined this last year (or was it the year before?), and didn't write a word. This year, I seem to have ended up there the very day before it all kicks off, which seems like quite a nice piece of serendipity. So I joined. Again. And my new mission flowered into being: to write 50,000 words before the end of November 2007.
I know NaNoWrMo isn't the way to instantly produce a work of prize-winning quality. But it's a way to produce A Work. Which is a start. It means writing around 1700 words a day, and no, I can't cobble together the 30,000 I've already written on Untitled Novel 1. They have to be all fresh – quite a steep challenge if you're in full-time work. But not necessarily if you work as an in-house copywriter and seem to be hitting a quiet patch...
We'll see.
I know NaNoWrMo isn't the way to instantly produce a work of prize-winning quality. But it's a way to produce A Work. Which is a start. It means writing around 1700 words a day, and no, I can't cobble together the 30,000 I've already written on Untitled Novel 1. They have to be all fresh – quite a steep challenge if you're in full-time work. But not necessarily if you work as an in-house copywriter and seem to be hitting a quiet patch...
We'll see.
Saturday, 27 October 2007
Mission success! We have pets!
May I introduce Bobby and Suzie, our new foster cats. Finally, after several long months, we had a cat charity drop off these two beasties for our care and attention. The volunteer told the Buckwell and I that Bobby was the thinner one (on the right in this picture), and Suzie was the fat one (on the left). However Suzie is so massive and manly that we are sure she is actually Bobby, while Bobby is quite petite and jittery - although smoochy when you win him/her over – so we think he's actually Suzie. Neither of them answer to either name, of course, which doesn't help. Anyway, we have taken to calling them Blobby (the fat one, obviously), and Schmoozie (other one). Perhaps we are confusing the poor creatures. Maybe we should just call them non-gender specific names like Sam and Robin/Robyn, which don’t bear any phonetic resemblance to their real names.
Blobby and Schmoozie spend most of their time sitting underneath the sofa, or trying to get into the bedroom to get underneath the bed, although in the last two days they've discovered the windowsills. (The ones offering a good view of the birds in the tree outside.) Unfortunately we are having trouble getting them to eat, although they will deign to lick tuna off a spoon or eat luxury kitten treats from the palm of your hand. Um, it's all getting a bit tedious.
And I am also unbearably allergic to them.
They have quite bad cat dandruff/dander, so I had to go and buy some anti-allergy pet wipes, which you wipe over the cat as if patting it. I think the cat thinks someone's giving it a big lick - it certainly ends up quite damp. Meanwhile all the dander goes onto the wipe, supposedly. The cat's skin allegedly benefits too, thanks to the aloe vera in the wipe (if it's good enough for humans' toilet paper, it's good enough for cats). And voila, less sneezing. I'm not sure if it's working, though. Maybe yesterday I sneezed 347 times, compared to 351 the day before. As time goes by, I'm sure I will develop a resistance to them, though.
So yes, this fostering lark ain't the constant sunshine and cuddles thing I had in mind. Although I know of course it takes time. I think it’s just confirmed the fact that I am mostly a dog person (I’m not allergic to them, either - woo-hoo). Or a cat person, as long as the cat keeps its fur mostly to itself.
Friday, 19 October 2007
Mission 016 - no more chips
Why do I do it to myself?
I feel unwell. I have been eating chips from the office cafe downstairs, and they are just about the direst they have ever been.
Most of them are pale, limp and sickly, instead of proudly bearing a crisp outer coating. They are shiny with oil and clinging to each other in a sort of bad chip porn way. Two are green. Several tasted the way a rubbish bin smells after liquid in the bag has escaped and pooled in the bottom, festering for a few days. (I spat those ones out, and they are now huddled in a semi-mash on the other side of the container.) I should have taken them all back.
I've occasionally had good chips from the cafe downstairs. Generally though, the following conditions need to be present:
- It should be a Monday, when the oil is (probably) fresh
- I witness the chips being taken from the fryer to the serving area
- The server shakes the excess oil from the chips before transferral
- The server leaves them in the oil long enough for them to attain a colour similar to that of a South London luvvie who's been in Magaluf for 2 weeks
I like food. I love good food. I'm not sure why I keep subjecting myself to this. Well, apart from the £1 cost. After all, everything else is so unappetising there that it seems to make more sense to spend £1 on chips than £2.50 on a panini (never toasted enough) with too much pesto (from a jar, too acidic), and hardly any cheese (rubbery fake mozzarella, applied only to the outer edges of the panini, so it all leaks out when the panini is toasted). I've also tried the soup (once) and it tastes worse than an ancient cup-a-soup, but with less salt, more overcooked broccoli flavour.
Of course, I could do it much better myself, but I'm not about to go and start up a cafe.
Instead, my mission is simply to NEVER have any more chips from the office cafe downstairs again*.
When: From now to eternity
Terms and Conditions
*Eating someone else's chips allowed
I feel unwell. I have been eating chips from the office cafe downstairs, and they are just about the direst they have ever been.
Most of them are pale, limp and sickly, instead of proudly bearing a crisp outer coating. They are shiny with oil and clinging to each other in a sort of bad chip porn way. Two are green. Several tasted the way a rubbish bin smells after liquid in the bag has escaped and pooled in the bottom, festering for a few days. (I spat those ones out, and they are now huddled in a semi-mash on the other side of the container.) I should have taken them all back.
I've occasionally had good chips from the cafe downstairs. Generally though, the following conditions need to be present:
- It should be a Monday, when the oil is (probably) fresh
- I witness the chips being taken from the fryer to the serving area
- The server shakes the excess oil from the chips before transferral
- The server leaves them in the oil long enough for them to attain a colour similar to that of a South London luvvie who's been in Magaluf for 2 weeks
I like food. I love good food. I'm not sure why I keep subjecting myself to this. Well, apart from the £1 cost. After all, everything else is so unappetising there that it seems to make more sense to spend £1 on chips than £2.50 on a panini (never toasted enough) with too much pesto (from a jar, too acidic), and hardly any cheese (rubbery fake mozzarella, applied only to the outer edges of the panini, so it all leaks out when the panini is toasted). I've also tried the soup (once) and it tastes worse than an ancient cup-a-soup, but with less salt, more overcooked broccoli flavour.
Of course, I could do it much better myself, but I'm not about to go and start up a cafe.
Instead, my mission is simply to NEVER have any more chips from the office cafe downstairs again*.
When: From now to eternity
Terms and Conditions
*Eating someone else's chips allowed
Friday, 28 September 2007
Mission 015 - Have your cake
Since I posted my essay, I've been feeling a bit at a loose end and vaguely irritable.
I'm not sure what I should be concentrating on.
So I am going to bake a cake. Not any old cake, mind. A Dobos Torte, named after Austrian pastry chef Josef Dobos, who created it. The Buckwell has been going on about Dobos Tortes since I met him, and earlier this year I tasted one at a Hungarian restaurant. Indeed, it was mightily tasty. I went home and looked up a recipe, only to reel back in horror when I read that every slice contained around 1250 calories, more than half the daily recommended amount for a chick/sheila/bird/laydee.
According to most recipes, it should take me around 1 hour and 30 minutes to bake and ice, although I think it will take more like 2, as there are 9 eggs to beat, and I only have a hand whisk. Yes, this is truly going to be challenging.
The other criteria is that I will need to bake it for guests, because there's no way that the Buckwell and I are going to eat an entire cake in 3 days (which is how long it will keep for because of the chocolate buttercream). Especially 4 slices at 1250 cals each.
It will not be a life-changing mission, but it will be a delicious one.
I'm not sure what I should be concentrating on.
So I am going to bake a cake. Not any old cake, mind. A Dobos Torte, named after Austrian pastry chef Josef Dobos, who created it. The Buckwell has been going on about Dobos Tortes since I met him, and earlier this year I tasted one at a Hungarian restaurant. Indeed, it was mightily tasty. I went home and looked up a recipe, only to reel back in horror when I read that every slice contained around 1250 calories, more than half the daily recommended amount for a chick/sheila/bird/laydee.
According to most recipes, it should take me around 1 hour and 30 minutes to bake and ice, although I think it will take more like 2, as there are 9 eggs to beat, and I only have a hand whisk. Yes, this is truly going to be challenging.
The other criteria is that I will need to bake it for guests, because there's no way that the Buckwell and I are going to eat an entire cake in 3 days (which is how long it will keep for because of the chocolate buttercream). Especially 4 slices at 1250 cals each.
It will not be a life-changing mission, but it will be a delicious one.
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