Mission update

Officially, at least, I've failed quite a few of my missions so far. But only because of the deadlines.

I'm keeping an open mind about the deadline bit, and so should you, because I work to deadline every day at work. And although that's not an excuse in itself, those of you who also work to deadlines probably know that you can't always run to deadline with everything. Or you have burn-out. Breakdowns. And then if you're in America, you get your gun and head to the nearest college. (Sorry America.) If you're in London, you drink till you fall over, get thrown out of the house by your partner, then lie in the courtyard of your apartment block, sobbing loudly in the rain until about 3am, like one of our neighbours did the other night. And it's precisely because we are in London and are confronted every day by news of knifings, that we didn't go down and comfort him, because he's quite a scary character – especially when he's sobbing. Instead, the Buckwell and I dug out some earplugs and went back to sleep. We would have thrown down a camping tarpaulin for him to make a makeshift bivouac, but because we are in London no one knows how to make bivouacs, so we didn't see the point. You need to grow up in New Zealand, with 1 1/2 acres of native bush - then you get really good at making bivouacs out of native ferns and sticks and things. Not much of that in London.

Anyway, so I haven't made most of the deadlines. But I'm being flexible about that. I have not managed to do 200 hula hoop revolutions, for example. But I've got to 137, so if I just keep it up, I'll get there. Trouble is, the novelty has already worn off...

As for the pet mission, that's coming along nicely. We have been contacted by the Celia Hammond cat rescue centre, who want to give us a mum with kittens to foster. However, we're selling the flat and would rather have an offer under our belts before sticking an adorable mum with kittens, plus undoubtedly stinky litter tray in the spare room.

The yoga mission is not quite dead in the water, but it's sinking fast.

The tango mission is still in there with a fighting chance, although Signor Cossu has introduced the idea of Lindy Hop, which sounds much more fun, although far less sexy.

So bear with me, I'll get there. Eventually.